I wrote this list mainly for myself and initially decided not to post it because it’s quite personal. However, it’s entirely possible that someone might stumble upon it and find it helpful.
So here it is, what love isn’t:
- Allowing someone to rely on you more than is healthy.
- Ignoring the problems in a relationship.
- Letting yourself feel inadequate.
- Being made to doubt your rationality.
- Trying to save someone from their own problems.
- The fear of breaking someone’s heart.
- Being respected by someone. Respect is a necessity, not a luxury.
- Missing someone.
- Trying too hard at things that shouldn’t be hard.
- Being put under pressure.
- Not allowing yourself to be fully happy.
- Not breaking up with someone, despite the fact that it is the most loving option.
Truly knowing what love isn’t is really important.
If you feel trapped in a relationship that you know deep down is wrong and/or if you have persistent, nagging doubts I would advise that you talk things through with someone who you trust. Sometimes you need someone who can tell you that your feelings matter. Never keep doubts locked up in your head.